“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence
then, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle
I often use this quote to explain the importance of making
positive thinking a habit of mind. Many people tend to overthink everyday
stressors to the point of automatic, negative thoughts. This often leads to an
increase in both emotional stress, and physical health concerns as well. In my
experience working with negative thought patterns, sometimes referred to as
cognitive distortions in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), clients tend to
magnify or catastrophize their reality.
For many, this leads to behaviors that are emotionally and physically
destructive. Increased irritability with friends, family, co-workers,…and often
poor sleeping and eating habits ensue and are seemingly related to a negative
thinking and stress pattern.
When I initiate positive shaping exercises
with these clients, their general mood begins to brighten, they sleep better,
eat better, relate socially better…the list goes on. Creating a positive habit
of mind is important to helping a person live a more balanced, happy life. I first
use the analogy of the glass half empty or half full to illustrate the
principle; however, I do not stop there. A more positive thinking reality is to
put your glass under a water source (i.e. - positive, enriching behaviors)
until it fills up. A full cup or self-fullness represents being at one’s
personal best. It is from this position that we get the most out of positive
habits of mind. When at our personal best, our behaviors represent an intimate
knowledge of our personal needs, and allows for a metaphorical overflow of
positive behaviors. Others receive these positive behaviors and tend to
reciprocate. In process there is a cycle of self-fullness, of happiness for everyone.
A few of the ways that I promote these
behaviors is through exercise and mindful breathing exercises and relaxation
techniques. The aim is to become more present or aware of self as negative
thought patterns float away. During
these exercises I encourage smiles at the end of a cleansing breath. It truly
begins to lighten your mood and tension – others notice too! I encourage these practices daily. I also
encourage a 30-day positivity chart. The client writes down at least two
positive affirmations (day & night) on a blank calendar or in some other
document. After 30 days, there are at least 60 positive affirmations to
concretely challenge the typical three or four negative stressors in one’s life
that take up much of their energy. I have found that at least a 3:1 ratio of
positive to negative thoughts and/or behaviors in a day begin to push a person
to a more positive habit of mind and subsequent emotional and physical
benefits. After 30 days, you have a concrete reminder that things can generally
be very positive vs. very negative. The increased awareness is often enough to
create positive change in life.Quick Bullets for Creating a Positive Habit of Mind:
- Surround yourself with positive people
- Resist or positively shape negative thinking
- BE POSITIVE YOURSELF (self-fullness)
- Exercise & good nutrition (treat yourself well)
- Use relaxation, meditation, and mindfulness to balance
- Have an attitude of gratitude (be thankful for the special things that are in your life)
- Turn adversity and challenges into opportunities for learning and growth
- Increase positive thoughts daily by using a chart or journal
- REPEAT!!! (DO POSITIVE THINGS OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY ARE HABIT)
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